Paul & Paula :
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Paul & Paula's recipe drawer
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Paula and Paula are a married couple who make a household with their son and Georgie their dog. The cook/non-cook roles of Paul and Paula have undergone a reversal with changes in their lives. Meanwhile, their cook/non-cook identities have taken very different paths, with one remaining stable over time (even though actual cooking behavior has changed!) and one in flux. I spent a Mid Summer evening (2012) with the family talking cook/non-cook talk. The time line below is derived from that conversation. --eh
This is Paul
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A Brief Cooking and Not Cooking Time Line
What Was Happening,
Who Was Cooking,
and Who Was Not Cooking
What Was Happening,
Who Was Cooking,
and Who Was Not Cooking
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Mid to Late 1990s:
Paul and Paula meet at Zitella (later renamed Tompkins 131), the restaurant in New York's East Village that Paula opened and co-owned with two others During this time, Paula was appreciating food and the presentation of it, and working to create the best atmosphere around food in her restaurant, but the restaurant cook was cooking, and Paula was eating at the restaurant. Was Paul cooking? Actually, no. Paul wasn't cooking, either. He was a young man hard at work at his job and he was eating take-out. He was also hanging around Paula's restaurant.
c.2005:
Paula and Paula re-meet in New York and begin seeing one another Still hard at work at his job, only a different one, Paul was now definitely in cook mode. He was making great batches of porridge using his Grandfather's recipe (Roy Wood's Hearty Canadian Porridge). He was making big enormous breakfasts. He was impressing Paula with the good care he took of himself, food wise. Also, Paul was cooking for Paula. It was cozy, comforting, homestyle cooking. Like pot roast and cod stew. The kind of thing you'd want to feed your family. Paula, meanwhile, was working in various capacities in restaurants (though her own had closed), and she enjoyed access to good food, but Paula was not personally cooking. Except... the pies! In a gesture-type effort toward Paul and his meals, Paula began to bake various pies. Stone fruit pies. That means they were made of fruit that has pits. But with the pits taken out. They were good! Paula indicates that her heart wasn't really in it, in terms of the actual cooking part. But her heart was in all the other parts.
20007:
Paul and Paula rent a house in the country for a six month stint while Paul takes a leave of absence from his job and works on his first book During this period, nobody seems to remember any one doing any cooking. Except Paul is saying something about there being a grill out on the deck...
At the end of this period:
Paul and Paula get married! The reception was in a restaurant with delicious food. Especially the mashed potatoes.
Right after that:
Paul and Paula return to New York City Paul's cooking for Paula resumed (though perhaps it never really stopped, since that grill out on that deck in the country sounds suspicious). Ditto his job. Not it sounding suspicious, it resuming. At this time, Paula worked as an event planner at a fancy restaurant, allowing her to order food rather than cook it, and she steadfastly continued to do that, and to eat Paul's food with Paul, and to not cook.
2009:
Paul and Paula buy a house, then have a baby; jobs are quit to make way for other work, and they leave the city! Well at first, things continued, with Paul cooking and Paula not cooking.
Fall 2010:
While working on his second book, with the baby and the house and the family all in full swing, Paul experiences what might be called a work panic, or at least a work realization, and clearly sees that given the time necessaary for writing the book, he can no longer be the one responsible for the food. And that includes the shopping. Yikes! So at this point it was: No more cooking for Paul. Paula would now have to be the one to cook. Paula says it took two conversations before this clicked. At first she was in denial. Then, she got it. She says after that she did some whining, and then some passive aggressive wining. And then what happened is that this woman, a perfectly content, well adjusted No-Cook Non-Cook stepped right up and took the responsibility of cooking for her family, which goes to show that there's more to being a non-cook than meets the eye.
c.Spring 2011:
A new development Due to issues with a sensitive stomach, Paula began to make batches of chicken and brown rice for Georgie, and began serving her this as her nightly meal.
Here is Georgie
Recap:
Paul quits cooking for a good reason. He writes the second book! Paula rises to the ongoing occasion and becomes a Cooking Non-Cook, yet totally retains the integrity of her basic non-cook identity. Though she is no longer an actively practicing No Cook Non-Cook, she allows herself to harbor aversions to certain cook-related things, like the cuisenart, and whole techniques, like soaking beans before coking them. That's the spirit!
Meanwhile, Paul acknowledges that what Paula does is much harder than what he ever did because Paul was only ever cooking for himself and Paula, while Paula cooks for three different people with three different needs. At first, it was hard to understand what he meant by that. The math was a little off. But here is what it is: she cooks for their three year old son, she cooks for Paul, and she cooks for Georgie. And also Paula herself is eating, so really that's four people, though it might be suspected that along the line the needs of others have somewhat eclipsed her own. Mid Summer, 2012:
Paul & Paula's three year old son is asked who cooks dinner at his house He says, "Me!"
There's Paul and Paula's boy being held by his dad
Mid summer, 2012, a little later in the evening:
Paul is asked if he has anything to add Paul says yes, he does. Paul seems to feel that his ability to cook has ebbed away from lack of use, that he would almost not know what to cook or how to cook it, that the feel of how to treat food is gone, that his role is so much diminished as to be, actually, gone. He appears to feel that he has become a non-cook. A No-Confidence Non-Cook? There's a touch of sadness in his way of expressing his new identity as a non-cook, like it's a loss he never would have anticipated. It might have to do with not fully realizing the breadth of his quit.
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