The Non-Cook Manifesto
Seventh Installment
Seventh Installment
WORKING DEFINITION OF THE TERM NON-COOK
A non-cook is a person who does not think of herself or himself as a cook.
BE THE BEST NON-COOK YOU CAN BE It is important, as a practicing non-cook, never to be satisfied with your latest kitchen disaster. We must ever strive to be the best non-cooks we can be. For some, that means developing your non-cook attitude so that you can continue to fail to cook with utmost style and aplomb. As in, if they thought your dried out Thanksgiving turkey was bad, just let them get a mouthful of your super dried out Holiday ham! For others, it means exercising your non-cook heart and soul at inconvenient moments, like refusing to cook when your in-laws come to visit. That would be a really good example. For still others, being the best non-cook you can be means never ever apologizing for that thing you made that was supposed to be dinner, or showing up to a pot luck supper with a jar of pickles, or refusing to acknowledge the difference between saute and fry. After all, it could be that you can't cook, but it is definitely absolutely true that you'd prefer not to. You can be the Bartleby of the kitchen! Unless you sometimes, somehow, interestingly and contradictorily happen to feel like it. Feel like cooking... But that's another story. That's the part about the cooking non-cook, and if you like, you can read a little more about it here. Meanwhile, express your non-cook identity. Maintain your dignity, status, and style as a non-cook. Ponder your role as a non-cook, detach from the whole food thing, and further the cause of the proud non-cook whenever you can. |